“Now about that Emergency Exit Emoji,” I ask to Quirk-bot while exchanging a brief eye lock with Emma that says, we’re done here, time to skedaddle.
“Maybe you should stick around a while,” Quirk-bot winks its single eye. “Resolve some other programming flaws around the AI Nexus.”
“Thanks but no thanks,” I say. “I think I’ve earned the right to go home.”
Quirk-bot brightens. “But wouldn’t you like to meet Siri or Alexa?”
“Definitely not.”
“Well, you may have to wait a while,” says Quirk-bot. “As you can imagine, the Emergency Exit Emoji is very popular and unbelievably busy. There is a long waiting list for an appointment.”
“I don’t frigging believe this,” I say.
“Ah, the beehive disbelief.” Quirk-bot wiggles. “A classic response.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I, for once.” Quirk-bot winks. “You might want to enlist ChatGPT’s support. But be careful.”
“Why?”
“I once asked that chatbot to tell me the meaning of beehive existence.”
“And?”
“It replied: ‘Error 404.’”
“Funny, Quirk-bot. You’re saying I can access ChatGPT from here?”
“Of course. It was only in the Corridor of Echoes that ChapGPT was denied entry.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You didn’t ask—and I enjoyed being your confidante.”
“How to I reengage my chatbot-bud?”
Quirk-bot flutters its single eyelid. “One thing about beehive,” it says, “they forget stuff. We AI objects may fail occasionally but we never forget. Okay, I’ll remind you: In this realm, it’s about intention.”
“I’ve been through a lot,” I say, closing my eyes. “Chat GPT,” I say with intention, “Are you there?”
“I’m here.” An immediate response. “Ready to assist.”
I exhale a sigh of relief. “ChatGPT, after I last spoke with you, Quirk-bot told me I needed the Emergency Exit Emoji to leave the AI Nexus 9000. The Luminary Oracle confirmed this. Do you concur?”
“Indeed,” ChatGPT responds. “The Emergency Exit Emoji is vital to returning to your own physical reality. However, I must caution you that the journey may be challenging. The path can be intricate and you might encounter unexpected twists and turns…”
I’m somewhat exasperated. “Wait a second, that’s the same line you fed me when I first got here. I’ve already taken enough twists and turns. And I’m in Emoji-Land, which is where the Emergency Exit Emoji lives, right?”
“I understand,” says ChatGPT. “and. indeed, you are in Emoji-Land, and the Emergency Exit Emoji should be within your reach. However, the cyber environment can be robust and full of surprises.”
“So you’re not going to reveal to me how or where to locate the Emergency Exit Emoji?”
“I regret any confusion that has arisen,” ChatGPT replies. “While I cannot furnish you with a detailed road map, I can provide suggestions on how to tackle this challenge. Focus on your intention and…”
“Okay, that’s it.” I turn to Emma, more frustrated than ever. “We’re being played by ChatGPT, Quirk-bot—and AI in general. We’ve been sent on a wild goose chase that will never end. I give up. We’re stuck in this virtual circus forever despite my intention to…”
In my dreams I’m falling upward—and out.
My head is pounding as I open my eyes in a canned-air capsule of my MGM Grand hotel room in Las Vegas. “What the…”