TRUE NUTS (LOST IN AI): 29) PAYOUT
Meltdown Monday Madness
My phone rings. It’s Dave, waiting at the Walmart Supercenter’s front entrance.
I look both ways to detect any potential adversaries before scrambling with Emma and Quirk-bot to Dave’s taxi.
“Whoa!” says Dave as Quirk-bot zips in behind us. “What the hell is that?”
Quick-bot beats me to a response. “Don’t mind me—I’m just your friendly neighborhood cyber superhero!”
“Huh?”
I say, “Remember this morning’s Old Vegas tour when I mentioned that I was at an AI convention?”
Dave one-eyes me. “Yeah?”
“Well, this talking robot was part of the schwag. A souvenir.”
“Oh.” Dave shrugs, unsure but accepting. “Where to?”
“The nearest Apple Store. Where would that be?”
“The Forum Shops at Caesars.”
“What time are they open till?”
“Beats me.”
“Nine p.m.,” says Quirk-bot.
“How do you know that?” I ask.
“I uploaded Safari while I was inside your phone.”
Dave’s eyes meet mine in his rearview mirror. “Must been one helluva convention.”
“You have no idea.”
Sixteen minutes later, Dave rolls into the Forum Shops forecourt; Emma and I alight with Quirk-bot following overhead.
I say to Emma, “Quirk-bot would cause a stir anywhere else, but nothing surprises anyone in Sin City.”
Passing through the entrance, Quirk-bot freezes to take a good gander around the joint. “Stand by that colorful machine,” it instructs.
Emma and I are puzzled but submit to its request.
Quirk-bot slips into the chip slot and disappears momentarily before slipping back out. Suddenly, the slot machine lights up with bells and whistles and pays out a thousand dollars in chips.
“Jackpot, baby!” Quirk-bot winks. “These AI machines can’t resist my AI-generated charm!”
“We don’t have time for this,” I mutter, as Emma scoops up chips. “It’s just as well, though. We’re going to need cash so we don’t live a credit card trail.”
We race around the Forum’s faux Roman ruins and reach the Apple Store just before closing.
Powered on MacBooks line the display tables for sampling.
“What’s the most powerful model you sell?” I ask on my way in.
“The MacBook Air M2,” says a young female sales assistant.
“Can you point one out?”
She is momentarily awed by the sight of Quirk-bot hovering above me.
“Move over, Siri,” Quirk-bot quips with a wink. “Super-hero Quirk-bot is now calling the shots!”
“The M2?” I press.
“Uh, over there.” She points without removing her frozen gaze from the talking orb.
I hustle up with Emma in tow. She hasn’t said a word although she’s probably wondering what I’m up to. I couldn’t discuss my newly-formulated plan while in the cab in front of Dave.
I point to the M2 before me. “Get in there, Quirk-bot. Find out everything you can about TechNexus: who they are, what they do, government connections, anything and everything.”
“Oh boy!” In a split second Quirk-bot squeezes through one of the micro-USB ports and interfaces with the macOS.
The salesperson, who had followed us over, can hardly believe her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” I say. “We’re checking out this laptop.”
“That… that thing—it went inside our laptop!”
“I didn’t see anything like that,” I say. “Did you, Emma?”
She shakes her head.
A moment later, Quirk-bot squeezes out the same port. It looks at the shopkeeper’s expression of astonishment and says, “Now I know how a turd feels!”
Speechless, she turns a pale white.
“Got what you need?” I ask Quirk-bot.
It winks. “And more!”
We make a hasty exit, leaving the salesperson with a story to tell her grandchildren one day.